A very wise friend recently told me, sometimes good things fall apart for great things to come together.
Well right now the good things are definitely falling apart... I am trying to find myself in the middle of my shattered emotions. The fury and betrayal I am feeling are over powering my will to be positive and trying to find joy seems impossible.
I was stabbed in the back yesterday by someone who I considered a friend. Someone I lent my time and hands to, to help them rebuild there home. Someone that I had done no wrong to. Now I have I knife up to the hilt in my back and they just keep twisting it. I can accept what they said but I can't accept what they did. The fact that they said things behind my back and tried to ruin my relationship for no reason, that is unthinkable in my world.
The thing I was accused of was cheating. The reason they had for saying it was that I was texting a guy I met while I was out with my friend at a bar. This guy was already aware that I had a boyfriend and that I had no desire to hook up, get down or do the nasty. He is in fact from another place entirely, like outside of the province. He just happened to be in town on summer vacation from school. Now because I have talked to someone I am being accused of shit? Am I not allowed to have friends.
Either way, I am feeling hurt and wronged. Apparently this is not an acceptable feeling according to my boyfriend. I should just move on and not care. He and this piece of shit he calls a friend should continue to hangout, and I should just be cool with it like nothing happened. I have yet to receive an apology or anything of the sort. I honestly cannot sit back and think it's ok for them to hang out.
Not to mention I have to deal with Dana calling me grumpy, bitchy, angry, any adjective that describes someone in an unpleasant mood. He is saying I am always like this and is taking an attitude with me every time I get frustrated or upset. Even if it's something minor or something he doesn't like, he spins into a rage and freaks out at me, as if my world isn't stressful enough.
I would honestly, at this point in time, like to take my new shiny knives and chop that stupid asshole piece of shit John Deline into little bitty pieces. Then I would feed him to the snapping turtles and the musky at my cottage.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have a knife to try and remove from my back.
Wednesday, 22 June 2011
Thursday, 16 June 2011
Summer Time!
Summer has swept into Belleville, leaving a wave of sweat and ice capp's in it's wake. I've been doing a lot of swimming lately and I also have been looking for a job harder than ever!
I found something with a company called Vector however they are starting to annoy me to no end. I have to call in at 9am each morning (waking up the hubby that works late.) and they are scheduling me for training and not giving me the heads up before hand. I want to know how the fuck I am supposed to know to be in the office for training when they don't tell me.
I did get a call from the Brick and one from TAS however neither have panned out just yet. Hopefully I'll hear more in the near future =) All I can do is stay positive and see what happens, right?
Anyways I found out that I have not been crazy all these years... Emu's do in fact growl....
Can you hear it? I'm not totally nuts right?
http://www.travelpod.com/travel-photo/katelin/2/1238300160/emu-growl.mp4/tpod.html
In other news, I am going to my mom's place for some much needed R&R and some away time from the ins and outs of everyday life in Belleville. Simply put I need to get away. Plus my mom is taking some time off work for a stress leave and doctor has ordered her to de-stress and I think I should be there to help her with it. That way she has someone to help her clean and give her some personal relaxation time. Afterall she has been working in that hell hole of a law office for 10+ years.
I applied at the community advocacy and legal center =) I'm hoping I get the job as junior assistant. It would make life a lot easier. I got turned down by second career unfortunately and that means I have to pay for my education or get OSAP. I think OSAP is the way to go honestly. It means I can get into school possibly as soon as September. That would be a mighty nice birthday gift to me!
Anymawho, cheers!
I found something with a company called Vector however they are starting to annoy me to no end. I have to call in at 9am each morning (waking up the hubby that works late.) and they are scheduling me for training and not giving me the heads up before hand. I want to know how the fuck I am supposed to know to be in the office for training when they don't tell me.
I did get a call from the Brick and one from TAS however neither have panned out just yet. Hopefully I'll hear more in the near future =) All I can do is stay positive and see what happens, right?
Anyways I found out that I have not been crazy all these years... Emu's do in fact growl....
Can you hear it? I'm not totally nuts right?
http://www.travelpod.com/travel-photo/katelin/2/1238300160/emu-growl.mp4/tpod.html
In other news, I am going to my mom's place for some much needed R&R and some away time from the ins and outs of everyday life in Belleville. Simply put I need to get away. Plus my mom is taking some time off work for a stress leave and doctor has ordered her to de-stress and I think I should be there to help her with it. That way she has someone to help her clean and give her some personal relaxation time. Afterall she has been working in that hell hole of a law office for 10+ years.
I applied at the community advocacy and legal center =) I'm hoping I get the job as junior assistant. It would make life a lot easier. I got turned down by second career unfortunately and that means I have to pay for my education or get OSAP. I think OSAP is the way to go honestly. It means I can get into school possibly as soon as September. That would be a mighty nice birthday gift to me!
Anymawho, cheers!
Thursday, 2 June 2011
Bread Baking Adventures
I have been baking today and trying some new thing... For one I made a breakfast loaf and it turned out alright, not the yummiest bread I've ever had but it was still tasty. It is a sweeter bread made with rolled oat and is much better for you than white bread. I've never been one for oat and whole wheat, but this would be the way to go. You can add in cinnamon, honey, maple syrup or anything else you like. It makes it a wonderfully customizable recipe. It can be used to suit anyone's tastes and would be great as a side dish to your morning coffee and eggs. I'm going to give it another try and make a few adjustments to it. Maybe try honey and cinnamon.
http://aforaubergine.com/2011/03/23/good-for-you-breakfast-loaf/
There is your link to the breakfast loaf, enjoy!
Then I made Amish white bread. It actually in the oven right now. The dough itself is a beautiful and silky, not to mention it turns nice and fluffy. My problem is that I put too much of it in the pan and it is getting a little too dark on the top. However it is getting nice and puffy and it apparently tastes very sweet.
I'll update you with progress in a moment, just going to check it.
It turns out that the Amish bread is amazing and the crust didn't harden too much at all. It was absolutely amazing. Very sweet and fluffy. It tastes like and overly sweet white bread, and it's lovely with a little bit of margarine. It was delectable and I will definitely be making it again! Simply a lovely recipe. Apparently it can also be used for cinnamon buns, and THAT is something I will have to try out!
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Amish-White-Bread/Detail.aspx
There is a link to the Amish bread
I also made my tradition Italian crusty loaf. A perfect dinner loaf that goes really well with spaghetti and most other dishes. It's also good on its own, with a puffy, soft inside and a golden brown and crunchy exterior. I used this recipe to make sausage buns and hamburger buns. In my high rise building it only takes about 20 minutes to bake and the dough rises in about a 1/2 hour. If you are looking for a really easy recipe to start with, this is it. The dough is silky smooth and is almost a pleasure to work with. A word to the wise, use flour or cornmeal on the bottom to keep the loaf from sticking! It's my new favourite to make and once you taste it, you won't blame me!
http://cooklikeyourgrandmother.com/2008/12/how-to-make-crusty-italian-bread/
Try it... You'll love it.
http://aforaubergine.com/2011/03/23/good-for-you-breakfast-loaf/
There is your link to the breakfast loaf, enjoy!
Then I made Amish white bread. It actually in the oven right now. The dough itself is a beautiful and silky, not to mention it turns nice and fluffy. My problem is that I put too much of it in the pan and it is getting a little too dark on the top. However it is getting nice and puffy and it apparently tastes very sweet.
I'll update you with progress in a moment, just going to check it.
It turns out that the Amish bread is amazing and the crust didn't harden too much at all. It was absolutely amazing. Very sweet and fluffy. It tastes like and overly sweet white bread, and it's lovely with a little bit of margarine. It was delectable and I will definitely be making it again! Simply a lovely recipe. Apparently it can also be used for cinnamon buns, and THAT is something I will have to try out!
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Amish-White-Bread/Detail.aspx
There is a link to the Amish bread
I also made my tradition Italian crusty loaf. A perfect dinner loaf that goes really well with spaghetti and most other dishes. It's also good on its own, with a puffy, soft inside and a golden brown and crunchy exterior. I used this recipe to make sausage buns and hamburger buns. In my high rise building it only takes about 20 minutes to bake and the dough rises in about a 1/2 hour. If you are looking for a really easy recipe to start with, this is it. The dough is silky smooth and is almost a pleasure to work with. A word to the wise, use flour or cornmeal on the bottom to keep the loaf from sticking! It's my new favourite to make and once you taste it, you won't blame me!
http://cooklikeyourgrandmother.com/2008/12/how-to-make-crusty-italian-bread/
Try it... You'll love it.
Tuesday, 31 May 2011
JDRF walk
It's been a good week, one were I feel like I've accomplished a lot.
First of all I might as well tell you, (since you are one of the few I can count on not to bitch at me!) that Marra and I are trying again. She messaged me apologizing and I accepted. With that, she spent the weekend here and we worked at making our friendship like it used to be. We went out on the friday night and went to the strippers. While there we were hit on by most of the people around us and the strippers themselves. They apparently like women more than men! Needless you say, I will be returning to the Cab again... I was good and drunk last time and unfortunately did not get to do a stage dive.
Marra and I ended up stumbling the 30 minutes back to home, stopping along the way to get some coffee and bother the poor woman sitting behind the counter. We were probably her only source of entertainment for the night, as I yelled "Fresh Pots!" at her repeatedly. I finally agreed to sit outside with Marra and we finished our coffee and the walk home were we tried, failing miserably, to explain the hilarity of the night to my boyfriend and his friend Chris. They didn't see how everything that happened was funny so we settled for pizza and more coffee before settling into bed.
I was awaken at 8:00am the next morning by Marra and her relentless jumping on my bed. I opened one eye long enough to survey the situation before rolling over. Marra was having none of this and made is very clear. She verbally reprimanded me and when that stopped working she then stole my blankets. At this point I moved slowly out of bed and across the threshold, at that point I realized I was still half in the bag and in no condition to be moving around, but hell if I was going to sleep in today. I had the JDRF walk to attend at 9:00am with the rest of my family.
After a quick cold shower and jumping into fresh clothes, I felt mildly better and when Dana finally arrive back at home I was practically ready. We left to head to the walk and stopped for coffee at Timmies, as a pick-me-up that I desperately needed. When we finally made it to the park I met my family and got signed in. We gathered around and stretched out our legs and arms before the walk started. We spent most of our time laughing and being photographed by anyone with a camera. My mum was making every effort under the sun to embarrass my kid brother Brodi, who wanted nothing to do with any of this. Joining in on the fun, mum and I danced around together before collapsing into a heap of laughter whilst my brother and boyfriend hid in shame.
Soon after the walk started we all broke up into small groups that walked together. I started out with mum and everyone else but ended up walking with Dana most of the way. Finally I ended the walk with my grandma and we chatted for a while. It actually felt nice to go out and do that much of a walk early in the morning, especially right beside the water! At the end of the walk we were greeted by everyone who had gotten there before us and we then went with the family to have a smoke and get some food. It felt nice to finally be included in my whole family, I finally felt like I was apart of them instead of being that awkward outsider.
We sat at the table for the better part of 2 hours laughing and joking. My mother even got up on the table and danced to embarrass Brodi again. By this time, Dana and I were both thinking about heading out to grab some sleep and everyone else was heading to the mall. We decided to meet them there (although we never did find them.) and we made our way up to the Quinte mall after stopping for cigarettes. It was a nice feeling to just roam around hand in hand with Dana. We stopped in and got him a game and he bought me a few skirts and a nice shirt for summer time. I was practically glowing as we sat down at the food court and grabbed a bite to eat before heading home.
The rest of my day was spent snoozing and watching movies with Marra and Dana, needless to say... it was a good day.
First of all I might as well tell you, (since you are one of the few I can count on not to bitch at me!) that Marra and I are trying again. She messaged me apologizing and I accepted. With that, she spent the weekend here and we worked at making our friendship like it used to be. We went out on the friday night and went to the strippers. While there we were hit on by most of the people around us and the strippers themselves. They apparently like women more than men! Needless you say, I will be returning to the Cab again... I was good and drunk last time and unfortunately did not get to do a stage dive.
Marra and I ended up stumbling the 30 minutes back to home, stopping along the way to get some coffee and bother the poor woman sitting behind the counter. We were probably her only source of entertainment for the night, as I yelled "Fresh Pots!" at her repeatedly. I finally agreed to sit outside with Marra and we finished our coffee and the walk home were we tried, failing miserably, to explain the hilarity of the night to my boyfriend and his friend Chris. They didn't see how everything that happened was funny so we settled for pizza and more coffee before settling into bed.
I was awaken at 8:00am the next morning by Marra and her relentless jumping on my bed. I opened one eye long enough to survey the situation before rolling over. Marra was having none of this and made is very clear. She verbally reprimanded me and when that stopped working she then stole my blankets. At this point I moved slowly out of bed and across the threshold, at that point I realized I was still half in the bag and in no condition to be moving around, but hell if I was going to sleep in today. I had the JDRF walk to attend at 9:00am with the rest of my family.
After a quick cold shower and jumping into fresh clothes, I felt mildly better and when Dana finally arrive back at home I was practically ready. We left to head to the walk and stopped for coffee at Timmies, as a pick-me-up that I desperately needed. When we finally made it to the park I met my family and got signed in. We gathered around and stretched out our legs and arms before the walk started. We spent most of our time laughing and being photographed by anyone with a camera. My mum was making every effort under the sun to embarrass my kid brother Brodi, who wanted nothing to do with any of this. Joining in on the fun, mum and I danced around together before collapsing into a heap of laughter whilst my brother and boyfriend hid in shame.
Soon after the walk started we all broke up into small groups that walked together. I started out with mum and everyone else but ended up walking with Dana most of the way. Finally I ended the walk with my grandma and we chatted for a while. It actually felt nice to go out and do that much of a walk early in the morning, especially right beside the water! At the end of the walk we were greeted by everyone who had gotten there before us and we then went with the family to have a smoke and get some food. It felt nice to finally be included in my whole family, I finally felt like I was apart of them instead of being that awkward outsider.
We sat at the table for the better part of 2 hours laughing and joking. My mother even got up on the table and danced to embarrass Brodi again. By this time, Dana and I were both thinking about heading out to grab some sleep and everyone else was heading to the mall. We decided to meet them there (although we never did find them.) and we made our way up to the Quinte mall after stopping for cigarettes. It was a nice feeling to just roam around hand in hand with Dana. We stopped in and got him a game and he bought me a few skirts and a nice shirt for summer time. I was practically glowing as we sat down at the food court and grabbed a bite to eat before heading home.
The rest of my day was spent snoozing and watching movies with Marra and Dana, needless to say... it was a good day.
Monday, 23 May 2011
Cottaging Weekend
I have returned a crispy and red version of my former self. Cottaging was a huge success, there were plenty of smiling faces and requests to come back sometime. Most of my weekend was spent by the fire drinking and smoking til my hearts content. The rest of the weekend was spent talking with my grandparents or eating the delicious food.
In all there was 10 of us, and they were all great people, I really feel like I got to connect with all of them on a more personal level. We had a number of meaningful discussions and got into a great number of topics about health care, education and the every present relationships. We only had 2 single people at the cottage and they seemed to fit in just fine.
The first night there everyone was totally loaded and high and 3 of us actually managed to stay up the whole night. About 1/2 of us watched the sunrise over the tree tops. It was absolutely gorgeous to watch, and the "Day of Rapture" turned out to be gorgeous and warm. Most of us even got in the water at some point for a brief, cold swim. We even managed to all get tanned! John and Uncle Craig sat with us and enjoyed soaking up the sunlight on what has probably been the most gorgeous day that year. Saturday night, Jenn, Matt, Dana and I spent hours upon hours talking with my grandparents and my 3rd cousin, Dennis. We laughed til all hours of the night and drank away our time.
On the final day, everyone started leaving around the 4pm mark and soon only Dana and I were left, excluding my family and John. I exchanged contact info with John and my uncle and we left. Although we had to turn around to get my sugar gliders. Turns out my grandparents didn't feel up to another set of pets, so we came back and took them home with us, feeling a little silly for leaving the animals by accident.
I got a tonne of pictures and plenty of everyone, I'll post some of the ones I got of the lake and sky. It was absolutely gorgeous, and everyone was amazing!
In all there was 10 of us, and they were all great people, I really feel like I got to connect with all of them on a more personal level. We had a number of meaningful discussions and got into a great number of topics about health care, education and the every present relationships. We only had 2 single people at the cottage and they seemed to fit in just fine.
The first night there everyone was totally loaded and high and 3 of us actually managed to stay up the whole night. About 1/2 of us watched the sunrise over the tree tops. It was absolutely gorgeous to watch, and the "Day of Rapture" turned out to be gorgeous and warm. Most of us even got in the water at some point for a brief, cold swim. We even managed to all get tanned! John and Uncle Craig sat with us and enjoyed soaking up the sunlight on what has probably been the most gorgeous day that year. Saturday night, Jenn, Matt, Dana and I spent hours upon hours talking with my grandparents and my 3rd cousin, Dennis. We laughed til all hours of the night and drank away our time.
On the final day, everyone started leaving around the 4pm mark and soon only Dana and I were left, excluding my family and John. I exchanged contact info with John and my uncle and we left. Although we had to turn around to get my sugar gliders. Turns out my grandparents didn't feel up to another set of pets, so we came back and took them home with us, feeling a little silly for leaving the animals by accident.
I got a tonne of pictures and plenty of everyone, I'll post some of the ones I got of the lake and sky. It was absolutely gorgeous, and everyone was amazing!
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