A very wise friend recently told me, sometimes good things fall apart for great things to come together.
Well right now the good things are definitely falling apart... I am trying to find myself in the middle of my shattered emotions. The fury and betrayal I am feeling are over powering my will to be positive and trying to find joy seems impossible.
I was stabbed in the back yesterday by someone who I considered a friend. Someone I lent my time and hands to, to help them rebuild there home. Someone that I had done no wrong to. Now I have I knife up to the hilt in my back and they just keep twisting it. I can accept what they said but I can't accept what they did. The fact that they said things behind my back and tried to ruin my relationship for no reason, that is unthinkable in my world.
The thing I was accused of was cheating. The reason they had for saying it was that I was texting a guy I met while I was out with my friend at a bar. This guy was already aware that I had a boyfriend and that I had no desire to hook up, get down or do the nasty. He is in fact from another place entirely, like outside of the province. He just happened to be in town on summer vacation from school. Now because I have talked to someone I am being accused of shit? Am I not allowed to have friends.
Either way, I am feeling hurt and wronged. Apparently this is not an acceptable feeling according to my boyfriend. I should just move on and not care. He and this piece of shit he calls a friend should continue to hangout, and I should just be cool with it like nothing happened. I have yet to receive an apology or anything of the sort. I honestly cannot sit back and think it's ok for them to hang out.
Not to mention I have to deal with Dana calling me grumpy, bitchy, angry, any adjective that describes someone in an unpleasant mood. He is saying I am always like this and is taking an attitude with me every time I get frustrated or upset. Even if it's something minor or something he doesn't like, he spins into a rage and freaks out at me, as if my world isn't stressful enough.
I would honestly, at this point in time, like to take my new shiny knives and chop that stupid asshole piece of shit John Deline into little bitty pieces. Then I would feed him to the snapping turtles and the musky at my cottage.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have a knife to try and remove from my back.