So I will be 22 in a few days... I am beginning to feel pretty old. I am however beginning to feel wiser, not that it's always a good thing. I find myself feeling like I have taken a step beyond some of my friends and it's getting lonely this far ahead. Sometimes, it's as if I leave someone behind every year that I get old and like for every friend I leave in the distance, someone is doing the same for me. So many of my friends are getting married or moving towards getting their education finished and I have barely scratched the surface.
There seems like so much time ahead of me and plenty of years in my past. Often, I find myself wondering how I ever wished to be an adult. I miss highschool and all the shenanigans I got up to! (Not to mention the lack of bills, responsibility and rent!) I can't imagine anything better than going back to those days.
However there is plenty to look forward to. My next pay, regardless of what ever I want, I WILL be marching into Loyalist college and starting my criminal psychology course. If I don't I want someone to drag me in there kicking and screaming if needs be. I need to get started so that in January I can start my nursing program, apply for OSAP and get into school. I will achieve my dreams and become everything that I want.
For the longest time, I wanted to do what everyone else wanted me to, wanted to be the perfect daughter, niece, grandchild, but now I can see, quite clearly, that to do that I need to be me first. There is an obligation to oneself to grow and evolve before you think of others needs and wants.
There is a lot in my future that I need to work on, a lot of things I need to focus my attention to, but right now it is school. Keeping my eyes ahead and wearing blinders will do my no good, so I will have to learn to balance my attentions, but my main goal is within reach and once I stop over thinking it, I can reach out and take it.
In other news I would like to wish a Happy birthday to my beloved Uncle, who I am sure can't be any older than 25. And I would like him to know that he is more than just my uncle and mentor, he is my friend. That is something that can't magically happen, but something that is earned through mutual love, honesty and respect. I am glad he is there for me and I will try my best to be there for him. So to the avid reader of my blog, devils advocate at all the cottage debates and by far the funniest drunken wrestler I have ever met, here it to you!