Interesting....

So I have a date on valentine day... I met a guy at work named Jesse and after chit chatting for a while he asked me if I would like to catch a movie. I agreed to go on a date with him and we made plans for next tuesday without really even thinking about the day was. Turns out I have Valentine plans after all...

I am just dating though... Not anything serious or exclusive. I'm not getting in to deep with anything because I want to take time to consider my options and explore myself. I think that going on dates with a few guys is a good learning experience for me. This way I can see what's out there for me.. I think I know what I want but you never know when minds can change.

In other news I have gone baby crazy. All my friends, with the exception of Marra, are having or have had babies. I want an adorable pink bundle of joy/poop machine to love. I can't wait to be a mum some day. I think that my mum taught me well enough that if I did have a baby, I would be a great momma bear.

What do I want?

I know what everyone else wants, I can tell you what all of my friends and family want. I can tell you what goals they have, what hopes they have. I can tell you their fantasies contain in most cases...

What I cannot tell you is what I want, at least not off the top of my head. I think I spend so much time trying to make everyone else's dream come true, I forget to think about my own. I didn't know what my own goals were.

So, I fixed it. I wrote my goals down and put them on the fridge. They are on the fridge so I see them every day. On that damn fridge they will stay.

The plan

I hate having plans on the whole, but these days I think I could use one. I have spent years wandering around 1/2 asleep and numb to how much needs to be done to take care of myself and someone else.

I have been sitting in my apartment and picking out the flaws for something to do, and trying to come up with a plan for the rest of my year. Mostly I am just stressing over a plan that may/may not be headed into a tail spin.

Right now I am laying in bed and can just vaguely smell the distinct smell of a man. I am waiting on the man belonging to that smell to arrive at my apartment this morning. It has me all keyed up and nervous.

Am I rambling? I'm rambling. Back to the topic of plans we go!!!

I made a plan, or goals, or whatever you want to call them. I sat down and I wrote them out. 3 for each topic, 7 topics in total. I tried to do a short, medium and long term goal, but for some things that just isn't possible.

You would not believe how hard it can be to write out goals. Especially relationship goals when you're not in a relationship. I also found spirituality a hard one... I took a lot of time to think that one through. I am mostly ambivalent towards religion and spirituality on the whole but I finally managed to pick 3 things for my goals.

I will post the list in a little while, right now I should be sleeping and waiting for the man that belongs to the smell of my bed to come find me.

Cheers

What I know now.

When you get out on your own, you get bored really fast, and after a while you figure out it's because you spent 90% of your time doing shit for other people... So then you fill your time with stuff that seems pointless, but then you suddenly realize, that pointless stuff is actually the stuff you love, like painting, reading, dancing, and brushing cats.... Then you get happy.

Back!!!

So I know I have been absent for a while. I moved into my new place and my phone stopped working so I had 0 internet for the longest time. Thankfully my phone is back up and working so I can keep you updated from here.

The new place is pretty awesome. It has a few things to be fixed but it's pretty great all around. Beautiful hardwood floors and we finally got some window dressings up.

Marra and I are making due and things are working themselves out, slowly. Her boyfriend is pretty great and I am still single. It is a nice feeling.

I will post pictures soonish :)

*facepalm*

Soooooo, today was interesting. I spent the majority of it searching frantically throughout the call center for my "lost" cell phone.

I checked my purse, my coat and my boobs. I looked under my desk, in my drawer and through all my papers and binders.

I then retraced my steps, I looked in the aisles, out in the smoking area, in the cafeteria, I even checked with security and looked out front. I asked my TM too look around and made the janitor check everything. I even went through my garbage.

I was moping around my desk and trying to figure out how I was going to explain to my boyfriend that I had lost my phone when my friend popped over for a chat. I asked him if he had seen my phone, and he asked how big it was. I said "About 2x3, why?" giving him a funny look. He then pointed at my stomach and asked whether or not I checked the front pocket of my hoodie. I looked down to see a perfect 2x3 rectangle showing through my sweater....

I swear, I am losing my mind. Lmfao.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

I ♥ RWJ

So offensive, but so my new favourite song....