Collected a few House quotes that I love *heart* If you see a mistake, leave me a comment.
Nate: This isn't a medical test... this is about Dukie making me eat garbage!
House:What the hell are those?
House:Candy canes? Are you mocking me?
Cameron:No. I just... Its christmas.... and I thought....
House: relax. Its a joke.
House : It's never lupus.
House: When you talk to god you're religious, when god talks to you its psychosis.
Dr. Eric Foreman: I think your argument is specious.
Dr. Gregory House: I think your tie is ugly.
Cameron: He's black.
Cameron: Foreman's black!
House: Really? How long have you been withholding that information?
Dr. Cameron: Do you have any idea what it feels like to have a 6’ hose shoved into your large intestine?
House: No. But I now have a much greater respect for whatever basketball player you dated in college.
House: It's a very sad thing, an uncalibrated centrifuge. It makes me cry too.
Dr. Foreman: I wasn't ready!
Dr. Taub: What were you going to do? Flex your goatee muscles?!
CUDDY: Are you being intentionally dense?
Foreman: You assaulted that man!
House: Fine. I'll never do it again.
Foreman: Yes you will!
House: All the more reason why this debate is pointless.
House: Oh no! You take Alpha Centauri, Foreman can look on
Tatooine, and Cameron can set up an intergalactic checkpoint. Let's
pray he hasn't gone into hyperdrive – we'll never catch him.
House: There is something called blewd in the pleural effusion... oh wait no, that's blood.
-House: Do a stool sample to check for parasites, blood culture to rule out infection, and ANA for lupus.
Cameron: Because he screamed?
Chase: It could also be an environmental reaction... an allergy, dust, weed, pollen, something he ate...
House: Check the house and run a lung ventilation scan... the lungs are in the chest too, right?
Foreman: I had a date last night, she screamed! Should we spend $100,000 testing her?
House: Course not... this isn't a veterinary hospital. ZING!
-House: See that, they all assume I'm a patient because of the cane.
Wilson: Then why don't you put on a white coat like the rest of us?
House: Then they'll think I'm a doctor.
Nurse Wendy: I've planned a surprise getaway.
House: Get away.
Nurse Wendy: Ummm hmm.
House: Get away.
House: Get. Away.
Cuddy: Would you describe it as a shooting pain? A throbbing pain? Or maybe an imaginary pain because you don't want to go back to prison?
Chase: Yo mamma so fat that when her beeper goes off people think she's backing up.
"The world is such a complicated place if you've got higher reasoning skills. I'm often jealous of small animals and retarded children." -- House
House~ (To Chase)"She's got pictures of YOU in here....... Just you, it's like some kind of weird shrine-"
Chase~ "You're kidding."
House~ "Yeah." (slides drawer shut)
Wilson: I'm not on anti-depressants, I'm on SPEED!
Dr. Foreman: There are ways to getting to know people without committing felonies.
House: People interest me, conversations don't.
Dr. Foreman: Because conversations go both ways.
House and Dr. Foreman: Like Thirteen.
House: I need sleeping pills. I was gonna hit up Wilson but he's not answering his phone.
Dr. Cuddy: He must have left it in his pants, which he wasn't wearing when the police found him trying to walk home… oddly, from his own apartment.