I literally am feeling like I have been holding in a huge lung-full of air and just got to let it out.
I was informed by my drunken "boyfriend" tonight that he didn't love me. What kind of man needs to get drunk to tell someone he doesn't want to be with them. I mean it's not as if I am a crier anyways. I get all proud and huff a lot. But otherwise, I am fine.
It is much better that it ended this way. We were never going to work because he didn't have the guts to be the man I needed, and I couldn't be the gaming addict he wanted. Combine that with our sexual differences and my inability to comprise and there is a time bomb waiting to go off.
I feel like he is being gutless by getting drunk to break it off. I hate gutless people, to deal with me you have to be willing to get in my face and scream right back at me. Or at least discuss it like a rational adult.
The strangest part is I didn't even say anything or do anything to indicate that I was mad or confrontational before this happened. I asked him how his day was and if he got an oil change. He then, after we were already driving, informed me he was drunk and that he didn't care about me and hadn't for a month and a half.
The thing that annoys me most is that he used me as a cash cow for a long time. And now that I want the money I paid into his TV so the rental place wouldn't take it away, he is telling me he was charging me to "watch the TV."
I am thinking about heading home for the weekend or taking off for a few days. Just to anywhere really. I need to get out of this apartment.